The eternal loser

We met when you were young. Maybe you don't even remember now…
Of course you don't. How stupid I was to even think for only a second you would remember me…
But I do remember you.
I immediately knew you were special. You stood out among everyone else, like nobody ever has. I'll never forget it. I felt as if my life, my whole existence was only to be there, at that time and place. Only to meet you.
I saw you coming and, I admit it, I had to look away. I just couldn't stand it. I felt as if it burned, or as if I was blinded by some sort of divine light. But also I was really concerned about the fact that that you'd notice I was staring at you. It would have been really awkward if you did.
You kept getting closer, I could feel it even though I wasn't looking your way. My heart was pounding rapidly. My hands were sweaty. My mouth was dry. When I turned my head again, you were right in front of me.
My heart leapt so badly that I could've sworn I let out a little gasp. I fely my legs move, practically by themselves, like an automaton. We were face to face.
I quickly said the first thing that came to my mind. Probably something stupid. I can't even remember now; my ears were ringing, my senses were numbed, I was completely lost in your eyes…
And then it happened.
You beat the crap out of me.
I gave you some money so that you'd end the cruelty. You took the money and left, exactly like you had arrived: without uttering a single word.
I've seen you a couple of times since then, but I haven't dared to talk to you. And you walk right by me, without even looking my way.
I guess it's better that way. But I can't help feeling what I feel, and that's where I failed the most.
I'm stuck here forever. Now I know that. If I could only make any progress… But I just can't. I have been here since the beginning. I shall be here until the end.
I am eternal. The eternal loser.
And it's your fault, but I don't blame you.
It's my fault for not understanding our true purpose.
I haven't left the forest since we met. Something tells me I never will.
I've tried to grow up, but it's just impossible. I feel like time has stood still for me since you left. Everything I do is pointless if you're not here to notice it.
After some time I even stopped waiting for your return. Why would you, anyway?
You'd never come back for me, would you?
(Would you?)
Of course not.
There's nothing here of your interest. You've used me. You've used all my friends here, just to get what you wanted, and afterwards you just pretend we don't exist.
Maybe it's true. Maybe I'm not real after all. I can't even tell what's real anymore.
But hey, I feel, therefore, I am. As long as I have this feeling for you, I am bound to this world. That's why I'm writing all this down. I'm extraxting this feeling like one draws out poison from a wound. A wound of a person that dead already.
Once I finish writing, once I get all this down, I will simply cease to exist.
It's funny how people can develop so differently, though.
A long time ago we were not that different, you and I.
Since then, I haven't changed a bit, but you… I heared you became the League Champion yesterday.
And then I knew you were never coming back.
So this is my final confession.
My name is Rick.
I'm a Bug Catcher from Viridian Forest.
And I love you.